( holden has a lot of questions and concerns, but while the woman who tells him about the island reminds him of one of his mothers, she doesn't really answer any of the questions or alleviate any of his concerns.

where's his crew? what's happening and how is he here? none of it makes sense and he was in the middle of something back home. he was in the middle of — possibly going out of his mind, so who's to say he isn't really still on the roci? maybe he's snapped. maybe seeing miller was just the first sign.

at least there's coffee in this hallucination, if that's what it is. he takes his cup outside with him, focused more on inhaling the scent of it than anything else, but when he looks up, his eyebrows rise. he hasn't seen his much green in a long time. not since — ) Montana. This reminds me of Montana.

( he's still pretty sure this place is a hallucination. he doesn't know what's caused it or how to get himself out of it, so he'll just have to trust that alex and amos figure something out back on the roci. at least miller hasn't shown up yet here. that's probably a good thing, right? he's hallucinating plenty of people, but none of them are a dead guy.

what a comfort.

when someone starts talking of intimacy and ushers holden toward someone else — another figment of his imagination? — he lifts his hands. ) I'm really not much of a dancer.

( he doesn't remember the last time he's felt rain. not a shower, not wetness, but genuine rain. he'd forgotten the noise it makes. it's almost comforting. it would be, if it wasn't so goddamn wet.

by the time he makes it to the ballroom, he's soaked through completely and there aren't any towels left. )

( hmu for anything here or @ abiosis. sad talk of missing his crew over a drink? you got it. spilling the beans that he thinks this is all a hallucination? buy him a drink first, but sure. holden making sex faces because of coffee? you bet. )